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Hey Reader,

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about my struggle with being a slightly messy human my whole life, and I shared the full story here: I found a gap in my own coaching.

Many of you wrote back saying you want to solve this too.

Today, I’ll give you a quick inside look at the mindset that has driven me over the past few weeks and has led my home to stay tidier than it’s ever been.

You can do this too!

Yes, I’ve been implementing strategies you’ve probably heard of before, like the two-minute rule and taking something with me every time I leave a room.

Those help.

But they’re not the reason I’m confident this isn’t just a “good phase” and I’ll slip back into old habits.

What’s actually driving the change is my determination to create a new identity around this topic.

All fueled by a simple phrase I keep coming back to:

I am a person who…

When my brain says, “Just leave it, you’ll do it tomorrow,” I already have my answer.

“No, I am a person who goes to bed with a tidy home.”

“I am a person who does it now.”

What this does is reinforce the identity I’m creating.

I am a person who has a tidy home.

Every piece of mail lingering on the counter. Every dish in the sink that could wait to be dealt with offers me the opportunity to reinforce my old identity (my childhood nickname of ‘Miss the Mess’) or my new identity: I am a person who keeps a tidy home.

Am I the person who lets the little things pile up, or am I the person who keeps a tidy home? I've never consciously asked myself to make that choice until recently.

I know the answer now, so there is no debate. No negotiation.

And as I’ve learned through personal experiences in other areas of life and working with my clients over the years, over time, the new identity starts to take less effort.

Your habits change to support the belief that “I am a person who…”

And then someday, it’s simply what you do without thinking.

I think this is where a lot of habit change breaks down. Not in the strategy, but in the moment of decision.

When you’re standing there, negotiating with yourself, because the old identity is so clear and familiar and the new one hasn't been spoken into existence yet.

So if there’s something you’ve been wanting to shift, start here.

A question to ponder this week whether you're trying to keep a tidy home or tackle some other old pattern:

Are you trying to break old habits… or are you actively working on becoming someone new?

“I am a person who…” is where that shift starts.

What’s your sentence that will drive you forward? I'd love to hear it.

Cheers to the you that is emerging,

Missy

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